


You Drive Me Crazy

by benotafraidofwriting



Series: Marching Band AU [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dan being sassy, Degradation, Dirty Talk, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hate Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Phil's just fed up, Punishment, Rough Oral Sex, Spanking, some fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:21:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benotafraidofwriting/pseuds/benotafraidofwriting
Summary: Dan's had enough of Phil bossing him around. Phil has had enough of Dan's backtalk and threatens to punish him. What's going to happen when Dan calls his bluff?





	You Drive Me Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, and thanks for clicking! Be warned, this is probably the filthiest fic I've ever written. Inspired by true events (hello fellow band nerds!), I wanted to see how far I could push the dirty talk without it being unnatural or cheesy. Hopefully, I pulled that off.  
> Any mistakes, please hit me up.  
> Hope you enjoy and have a good day!

“Howell, you’re two steps off your mark!”

Dan sighed heavily as Phil Lester’s shrill voice cut through his eardrums. Marching band practice had been dragging on for about three hours. The sun was beating down on the hottest day of the year and he was sticky with sweat and maybe a few tears. His lips were blistered from playing his trumpet for so long. All he wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep.

Instead, he got a certain raven-haired, blue-eyed boy that he may have a crush on if he wasn’t a giant asshole, stomping up to him and yelling in his face. 

“Lighten up, Lester! We’re going on hour four now!” Dan shot back. There were murmurs of agreement from his fellow classmates, who all looked just as tired and haggard as Dan felt.

Phil looked around at everyone in disapproval before declaring, “Alright, take five!”

Everyone dragged themselves over to the pile of warm water bottles and took one. Dan was just cracking open his own when suddenly Phil spoke in his ear.

“Howell, a word, please?”

Dan rolled his eyes before following Phil a little distance away from the rest of the band. When Phil turned around, he wore a look of anger. 

“Howell, you are always undermining my authority. You need to focus and listen.”

“Look, just because you’re drum major doesn’t mean you can lord your authority over us!” Dan hissed, “In fact, respect for you is so thin, you barely have a leg to stand on!”

Veins in Phil’s neck bulged in anger. “Watch your mouth, Howell! I do have authority and will use it! Someone really ought to teach you a lesson.”

“Who? You? Please.” Dan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “What are you going to do? Nag me to death?”

“I’ll…I’ll…” Phil spluttered indignantly, casting around for some kind of punishment. Dan could’ve sworn a light bulb went off above his head as his eyes lit up.

“I’ll spank you!”

There was a long silence between them. Dan’s mouth dropped open in shock and Phil looked triumphant at finally shutting Dan Howell up. Then, Dan burst out laughing.

“That’s…that’s good!” he cried as he doubled over, wheezing out giggles.

Phil looked as if he just bit a lemon. “What’s so funny?”

“The thought of you spanking me!” Dan wiped away tears of laughter. “No offense, Lester, but you cry during dodge-ball in gym class! How the hell are you going to physically spank me?” And he collapsed into giggles once again.

“I could do it and I can prove it! Meet me at my house on Friday! Then we’ll see!”

Red in the face from embarrassment, Phil turned from Dan and yelled that the water break was over and everyone get back in line.

“You alright, mate?” Dan’s fellow trumpet player and closest friend, PJ, asked as he walked over to the still hysterical boy.

“Yeah.” said Dan, pulling himself together. “I’ll tell you after.”

-

The week went by without much more complaint from Phil. There was one incident on Wednesday when Phil called Dan out for wearing shorts that were too short. A playful “Enjoy staring at my ass, Lester?” and wink sent Phil stomping back up to the drum major stand in a huff. By the time Friday rolled around, Dan had nearly forgotten about the whole thing entirely. That is, until Phil came storming up to him in the hall. Dan and PJ were leaning against their lockers, idly chatting, when Phil suddenly thrust a piece of paper into Dan’s chest.

“My address, be there at three sharp.” the older boy said curtly before disappearing into the crowd of students.

Dan tucked the paper into his pocket. Catching PJ’s worried look, he grinned.

“Don’t fret, Peej. Lester may have a stick up his ass, but he’s not cruel. He’ll probably chicken out completely before the day’s over and make up some excuse when I get there.”

-

School ended and three o’clock rolled around. Dan found himself walking up the front pathway of what was apparently the Lester house. He knocked and rang the doorbell, just to be obnoxious, and waited.

When Phil opened the door, Dan was surprised. He had half-expected Phil to pretend not to be home. Instead, the man himself was standing there, rubbing his eyes.

“Sorry, I just woke up from a nap.” Phil said, his voice gravelly from sleep and going straight to Dan’s groin. “Come on in.”

Dan stepped into the entry hall and followed Phil up the stairs. He’d never seen Phil like this, so casual and laid-back in a graphic T-shirt and loose jeans. Usually, Phil was stiff and straight-laced and, in Dan’s encounters, yelling, but this Phil seemed soft and sleepy. Dan almost wanted to cuddle up in bed with him…almost.

Phil led Dan to his bedroom and shut the door. The room was bright and neat with posters lining the walls and Phil’s clarinet propped up on a stand. Dan was honestly expecting a clean, sterile room with just white walls.

“Wait, you like this anime too?” Dan burst out as his eye caught sight of various pop culture characters on a nearby bookshelf.

Phil’s eyes widened in surprise, “Wait, you know that anime?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites!” Dan exclaimed, moving to examine the shelf closer. “Are you caught up on all the seasons?”

“No.” Phil admitted, “I like to watch with someone and have only just finished up season one.”

“I have all the seasons! We-” The suggestion of he and Phil watching anime together died on his tongue. He forgot what he was here for and whose room he was in. No way would Phil Lester want to waste his precious time with Dan.

Phil seemed to notice the change in the room and cleared his throat. “Do you like Sonic?”

Dan glanced at him. Apparently, Phil had forgotten why he was there too, it seemed. “Yeah…”

Phil grinned. It was very odd to see Phil Lester grin at him, as his face was usually contorted in rage when he talked to Dan. “What if I told you I have the new Sonic game?”

Dan did a double take. “What! That doesn’t come out until next month!”

“I know.” Phil said, bouncing on the balls of his feet, “My dad knows a developer at the company and he gave it to us early.” He walked over to a cabinet with a TV on top of it and rifled through it. He turned back and held a shiny game box with everyone’s favorite blue hedgehog on the front of it. 

“What the hell!” Dan yelled, marching over and taking the game from Phil.

“Maybe we can play it together, you know, after we finish up.” Phil said nonchalantly.

Dan froze. So, Phil did remember why they were there. Why was he being so nice though?

Upon seeing Dan’s expression, Phil hastily added, “If you want to, of course.”

If he wanted to play the game or if he wanted the punishment? Dan was very confused. It was not that he was against being spanked; he and his past partners had often found pleasure in giving each other corporeal punishment. The question was: did he want Phil to do that to him?

Dan looked over at the other boy. Phil had determinately set his jaw, like he was waiting for Dan’s rejection of his offer to hang out. He looked so eager and hopeful, it was adorable. Adorable was not a word Dan associated with Phil Lester, sexy, hot, infuriating but not adorable. Maybe Dan had misjudged him. Maybe Phil just wanted a friend. Maybe Dan wanted this from Phil.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” he found himself saying and the spark of happiness that lit up in those ocean blue eyes suddenly made this entire thing worthwhile.

Phil cleared his throat again. “Right… So, how do you want to do this?”

Again, Dan had no idea if Phil was talking about the game or the spanking. He decided to go for the latter, feeling somewhat aroused that Phil Lester’s hands were going all over his ass.

“However you want to do it, boss. I usually like to bend over the other person’s knee, but it’s up to you.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “You’ve done this before?”

Dan pouted as he watched Phil walk over to the bed and sat down. “I’m a very naughty boy.” He went over to the bed and crawled onto Phil’s lap.  
Phil laughed, “Now, that I can believe.”

“Hey!” Dan said in mock outrage before giggling himself. He felt Phil’s burning gaze look him up and down as he settled himself over Phil’s knees. He was glad that he’d worn such a tight outfit that accentuated his curves in the best way, especially Phil’s area of interest.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Dan said, wiggling his bum playfully. 

Phil laughed again, a sound Dan wouldn’t mind getting used to. “Shut up. This is supposed to be a punishment.”

“Well, get to-” _Whack!_  
Dan never finished his sentence as Phil’s hand descended swiftly and firmly onto Dan’s right cheek. It didn’t hurt, but it caught Dan off-guard.

“What’s that you were saying?” Phil asked as he spanked Dan’s other cheek.

Dan merely grunted, biting his tongue and trying desperately not to moan or arch up into it. He didn’t know if Phil was into that and didn’t want to freak him out, not when they seemed to be getting along so well at last.

A few slaps later and Phil was frowning. “There’s too much padding and I don’t think I’m getting the punishment across. Can you take off your jeans?”

For a moment, Dan considered. Being jeans-less was dangerous territory. His cock was already hardening, yet made discreet by the fact the jeans were so tight. Yet he let himself imagine Phil spanking him when he was in boxers and he liked that image. 

He sat up on the bed next to Phil and peeled off the garment, tossing it to the floor before resuming his previous position. He made sure to angle his dick so it didn’t poke Phil in the thigh and give him away.

Phil’s hand came down and this was definitely an improvement. Dan could feel how warm Phil’s hand was as it smacked down on his cheeks. He could feel a slight tingle in his ass as the spanking continued. Yet, he wanted more.

“C’mon, bet you can hit harder than that!” Dan taunted. “I thought you were trying to teach me a lesson?”

This had the desired effect, as Phil’s hand came down much harder this time, so much so that Dan’s ass cheek was still burning when he lifted his hand away. The next hit on the other cheek was just as hard, making Dan want to sing with joy. He didn’t though; he was still trying hard not to moan. Instead, he gave grunts of, what he hoped sounded like, pain.

Phil had just given him the thirteenth of the harder smacks when Dan couldn’t hold it in any longer. As the hand came down and his ass stung, Dan suddenly gave a loud, cannot-be-interpreted-in-any-other-way-except-sexual moan that seemed to ring through the room.

Above and below him, Phil froze. Dan froze as well, mortification flowing through him.

“Did you…Was that…” Phil sputtered. 

Dan looked over his shoulder, intending to apologize to the other boy, but stopped when he saw his face.

Phil’s pupils were so large that Dan could see only a hint of blue at the edges. His mouth hung open as he stared at Dan. Dan shifted, and there was definitely something poking him in the thigh. Phil was hard and just as turned on as Dan was.

So, Dan looked at him, his face red and his brown eyes glazed over with tears gathering at the corners.

“Why did you stop?” he said in the lowest, sexual voice he could muster while his vocal chords were being pressed on.

He turned back around and waited. For a moment, nothing happened. Oh God, maybe Dan read him wrong? Maybe Phil was about to call him a freak and throw him out? But, then Phil’s hand came down again, just as hard as before.

“Fucking hell,” Phil chuckled, and Phil swearing may be Dan’s new kink, “Not only are you a naughty boy, but a slut as well?”

Dan gasped and thrust weakly forward in a subconscious effort to stimulate his dick. Dirty talk was another weakness of his, something that Phil picked up on.

“Aw, do you like it when I call you a slut?” Phil chuckled darkly as Dan nodded frantically. “You dirty fucking boy.”

Dan mewled and clawed at Phil’s bedsheets. Phil’s gravelly voice made his every word go straight to Dan’s cock, which throbbed heavily.

“Look at you, all desperate, just from me spanking you, you little slut. Do you like pain, whore?” Phil spanked Dan again and, with his other hand, pulled Dan’s hair so hard his head was forced up. “Answer me, bitch.”

“Yes, yes! I love it, sir!” Dan cried, his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head. “Please, sir, please!”

“You talk way too fucking much.” Phil snarled and suddenly Dan found himself on the floor, staring up at Phil as the older boy began to unbuckle his pants. “You want to put that mouth to better use, baby?”

Dan nodded so hard, he thought his head might pop off. He quickly crawled in between Phil’s legs, eyes widening as Phil shoved down his jeans and boxers. Phil’s long, girthy cock sprang out and nearly hit Dan in the face. 

Dan gazed up at Phil’s face. His eyes, much like Dan’s, were glazed over in heat and want and both were panting hard.

Phil grasped the base of his cock in one hand, holding the back of Dan’s head with the other, and slowly rubbed the tip along Dan’s face, smearing his features in pre-cum. “Stick out your tongue, baby.”  
Dan did so and Phil smacked the tip against his tongue a few times. “Now, open wide.”

Again, Dan did as was ordered and felt Phil’s cock slowly push into his mouth, dragging up Dan’s tongue. The weight and taste made Dan’s head spin. His jaw already ached from having to open so wide for Phil’s thickness. He clasped his hands behind his back, determined to be good for Phil and let the other boy use him however he pleases.

Phil was about halfway into Dan’s mouth when he hit the back of his throat, causing Dan to gag before he relaxed the muscles. 

“You can take more, can’t you, baby?” Phil cooed, brushing away a stray curl that had fallen in Dan’s face.

Dan nodded as best he could, trying to communicate with Phil that he wanted more, needed more.

Phil gave a little laugh. “Of course you can take more. I bet you deep throat cocks all the time, you dirty slut.” Phil suddenly used both hands to grab the back of Dan’s head and yanked him closer, forcing his entire length down Dan’s throat. 

Dan choked; spit dripped from the corners of his mouth and down his chin. He could swear he felt Phil’s cock in his stomach. Phil pulled out all the way, and Dan gasped in a breath of air before his face met Phil’s groin as he was forced to swallow his huge cock again. Phil repeated this a few more times before he began to thrust shallowly into Dan’s mouth. 

“What a good, little cocksucker. Bet you have had a lot of practice, haven’t you, sweetheart?” Dan merely blinked hazily up at Phil in response. Phil growled, picking up the pace. “Well, that stops now, because you are mine. My cock’s the only one that should be on your mind and the only one you’re allowed to take. I’m going to make your body my cock’s fucking home. Going to fuck you like this every day… Aren’t back talking now, are we? Perfect. Should keep you like this. You’re so much less annoying when you can’t speak, when you’re taking cock like the dirty whore you are.”

Phil’s stream of filthy talking combined with his absolute wrecking of Dan’s mouth made Dan suddenly moan lowly around his cock and, seconds later, a warm, dark stain spread over the crotch of his boxers. Above him, Phil was still babbling, getting closer to his own release.

“F-fuck, I’m going to cum.” he cried, his balls slapping Dan’s chin. He suddenly jerked his cock out of Dan’s mouth, shooting hot, white streaks all over the brown-haired boy’s face. He moaned contently, using a finger to spread his cum all over Dan. 

Dan sighed happily. He loved it when people came on his face. He always felt as if they were claiming him in some way, marking their territory. Using his fingers, he scooped up all the cum he could while Phil looked on blearily and then licked it off, making a big show of swallowing it. Phil reached down and helped Dan to his feet.

“Are you ok? I’m so sorry! I got carried away! I don’t actually think you’re a whore or a slut or anything like that; it was the heat of the moment. I’m sorry! I understand if you want to leave or never want to talk again! I-”

Phil’s rambling apology was suddenly cut off by Dan grabbing his hair and dragging him into a hard kiss on the lips. The raven-haired boy made a surprised sound, and then melted into the kiss as he reached up to cup Dan’s face.

When they parted, Phil’s own face held a look of amazement as he stared down at Dan. “I can taste myself on you.” he whispered in wonder as he touched his lips. Dan giggled.

“Wait, did you-” Phil looked down, eyes widening as he took in the dark stain on the front of Dan’s boxers. 

Dan nodded, looking away in embarrassment. Phil quickly grabbed his chin and pulled him into another kiss. “That’s so fucking hot.”

Dan blushed. Phil pulled up his pants and went over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of loose sweatpants.

“Here.” he said, tossing Dan the sweats. “There’s a bathroom just down the hall if you want to clean up. You can even shower, if you want. I could toss your boxers in the laundry real quick. Then we could play some Sonic, and then order pizza.”

Dan nodded before speaking for the first time. His voice was raw and scraping from having his throat fucked, but he didn’t mind. “You know, I can never watch you conduct again without thinking dirty thoughts about your hands.”

Phil squeaked and blushed. He looked away as he bit his lip, thinking about something. “Can we…um…do this again, if you want?”

Dan grinned, “On one condition.”

Phil looked at him with sincerity, “Anything.”

“Be my boyfriend?” Dan asked.

The enthusiastic kiss Phil gave him was all the answer he needed.


End file.
